Catastrophe
by Persiana13
Summary: Catman attempts to win the love of Persiana by proclaiming it to the world. Needless to say, Farrah is less than thrilled at the idea. Part of the DC Persiana-verse. First in a series of one-shots


**Cat-astrophe**

_Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah Willows/Persiana._

One Shot

A man in a brown and tan cat costume was overlooking the city skylight in Metropolis. His name is Catman, a feline villain that was not a real feline. Since that day in Star City, he could not take his mind off of the most beautiful woman he had ever met in his life.

Persiana. (1)

Catman sighed to himself and smiled,

"Today, I shall make my presence and my love known to the world, my love of the white-haired feline goddess Persiana."

He launched a grappling hook and let the force of it pull him across the building to where he wanted to go. The love-struck villain grinned as he opened the skylight to a TV station in Metropolis…

**Meanwhile, aboard the Watchtower…**

Farrah Willows, the white-haired feline heroine called Persiana, was busy working out in an agility course she had designed. This agility course had numerous poles and hoops that hovered in the air, and walls and narrow beams that seemed precarious, but to a woman with near perfect cat-like balance, Persiana was able to execute all of her maneuvers with ease and grace.

A black haired woman in gold armor and a gold tiara was watching her. Her name is Diana, the Amazon heroine known as Wonder Woman. Diana had taken in the feline under her wing and brought her to her home. Presently, the Amazon princess was watching Farrah run a time trial through the agility course and was watching the lioness' acrobatics.

Persiana took to the air and, curling up into a tight ball, somersaulted and finally, extended herself quickly and landed on her feet in a perfect ten fashion. She smiled and pulled her hair back,

"I think I beat my time."

Diana looked at the monitor,

"You actually did by a full second, sister."

Persiana took a swig of her water, smiling,

"One second faster means one more second I have to stop someone before they hurt an innocent life."

She smirked,

"You really should try a workout like this, Diana. Batman would go nuts if he saw you doing the things I could do."

The warrior looked at her,

"Sister, I doubt I have the flexibility for what you do."

Farrah laughed,

"Which is why you need to get out of that armor more. Honestly, I don't know how you can wear that thing when you fight. I need some serious elbow room for my limber acts."

She got on the floor and stretched like a cat, purring in delight of the stretch. Farrah really liked being a cat at times.

Flash rushed in,

"Uh, Farrah, you might want to see this."

The three walked back to one of the main monitoring rooms.

When they got there, Farrah's face sank,

"What is that moron think he's doing?"  
She was referring to Catman, who had taken over the TV station. He had a piece of paper in his hand and he was sitting at the news desk. Catman looked into the camera,

"Ladies and gentlemen, today I have an announcement. I wish to proclaim my love of a beautiful goddess that I met in my adventures…the lioness Persiana!"  
Farrah rolled her eyes,

"Great."

The feline villain continued,

"Persiana, you have stolen my heart, and I wish for us to make kittens."

At this, everyone turned to the lioness. Some were a little surprised, others a little amused.

Persiana had a nervous twitch over her eye. The lioness said in an eerily calm voice,

"Where is this being broadcasted?"

Superman said,

"Metropolis TV station."

He turned and noticed Persiana was walking away. The Man of Steel called out,

"We have a no killing policy in the League!"  
Farrah turned and responded in the same eerily calm voice,

"Superman, I am only going down there to address Catman and respond to his comments. Nothing more."

She left. Flash shook his head,

"This is not going to end well for Catman, is it?"

The Big Seven watched as Persiana roared furiously,

"CCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTMMMMMMMAAAAAANNNN!"  
The feline villain was overjoyed,

"My bride is here! Come now, kitten! Give your future mate a kiss!"  
Farrah smiled evilly,

"Kiss this!"  
She shrieked and pounced on Catman, attempting to maul him.

Batman was stunned,

"I didn't know you could do that with an extension cord."

Flash covered his mouth and hurled in a bucket. Diana shuddered,

"Even Hercules was never THIS violent to my mother."

Green Lantern shook his head,

"In all my years being a Green Lantern, I've met savage alien races and bloodthirsty villains, but THIS? This takes the cake."

Superman tugged on his costume nervously,

"I wish I was fighting a hundred Doomsdays than her right now."

Catman screamed girlishly,

"THE PAIN! THE PAIN! OH MY GOD, IT HURTS!"  
Persiana roared,

"I'M GONNA NEUTER YOU WHEN I'M DONE! TAKE A HINT; NO MEANS NO!!!!!!"

More furniture was being overturned, and the reporters and TV crew ran out of there panicking.

When all was said and done, Catman looked into the camera,

"I didn't love was supposed to hurt so much."  
The feline villain looked down,

"I don't think my legs should be bent like that. Neither should my toes. I think there's going to be an overwhelming sense of pain right now."

He screeched,

"THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE REALLY, REALLY HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

J'onn shuddered,

"The White Martians were never THIS cruel."  
Batman looked away, trying to keep his lunch in his stomach. Hawkgirl whimpered to John,

"Hold me, I'm scared."  
Wonder Woman swallowed nervously.

Persiana came back aboard the Watchtower and looked at the seven of them. She said in an unusually chipper voice,

"I had to let Catman off easy. He took it well."

She kept walking, practically skipping down the hall.

A door slid open and Hawk stepped out as Farrah passed by. The lioness grinned,

"Hey, Hawk."

The avian powerhouse paled and shouted,

"HELP! EVIL KITTY WILL EAT ME!"

He used his super speed and put as much distance as he could from Persiana.

**In a hospital bed…**

Catman had a dreamy stare. He seemed oblivious to the fact he had most of his bones broken and he had to have surgery to keep his insides on his inside. He sighed happily,

"My goddess loves me. She really loves me."

End of One Shot

(1) Catman first met Persiana in "The New Face in Town"

(2) Read Chapter 6 of Justice League Persiana.


End file.
